February 4, 2008
You know who you are!

You know who you are!

What is the deal with fat vegatarians?

Come on, if you’ve given up meat you’ve decided either to make a half assed social commentary on cruelty to animals, or you’ve done it for your health.  If you’re doing it for your health, you may want to think about laying off the pizza and sweets.

Lets be realistic; the low carb diet fad has faded considerably but it is still valid advice; if you cut down on intake of carbs you’ll see some benefits.  I find it odd that people who are very smart in an intellectual sense somewhow miss the whole ‘physica of weightloss’ aspect of human health.  Sure, some people have slow metabolisms or overactive thyroids…most of them have a bad case of FatAssitis and ass horizontoligy.

Maybe you should stop boo-hooing about animals and think of your own health, maybe you should put down that eclair and that copy of “People” and go for a walk; or at the very least, move the junk food into the basement so you get a little more exercise.

Now, on the other hand, I have known some thin vegatarians, but they always seemed to be getting sick and going on about needing some vitamins or some nonsense like that.  Hey, you know what has some vitamans and nutrients in it?  MEAT!

You don’t need to slaughter a cow or pluck a chicken to enjoy some health benefits; the chicken and cow are going to die anyways because some poor people need to eat cheap fast food (being into veggies is pricey, esp at those trendy health food stores) so you might as well eat some fat free chicken breasts or lean pork chops. 

I know this is a stretch, but you have to assume that people in general are dumb and need some guidance when it comes to eating.  Balancing health and ethics can be a tasty situation, especially if you like your ethics with a side of bacon.

Why I Hate the Internet

Everyone who has free time and internet access thinks the world is interested in their opinion.  The whole ideal of ‘community driven web’ is in the long run, about as good an idea as a community bathroom.

You see, it isn’t that I believe in an over-arching dictatorship for the online world, it is just that most people are so maladjusted to day to day life, so getting a snide look from a barista whilst buying morning coffee will send some folks into an emotional tailspin.  You have part of the population that is well off and over-medicated on anti-depressants, part of the population that is employed but hates their jobs so much they need to drink themselves into a stupor several nights a week, and then another part that is either poor or homeless or struggling (or all 3) who can’t get anti-depressants which may help them, instead they seek change for booze because it numbs the pain…well at least it is better than them trying to rob me.

In any event, these people, the voice of the internet, are too busy writing about life (and adding tags, the taxonmical equivelent of racial profiling) to their posts so that they can somewhat, despearately, have thieir thoughrs and work validated by strangers on the internet with the same malady.

It culd be worse, they might try to write country music.  As a matter of fact, you could probably write a country song from any random selection of blog posts, such as:

"my spreadsheet crashed and my computer went blue, I ordered a latte but they spilled it on me too, I got laid off from a job I hate, so I log onto Second Life so I can masturbate…"

Look out, Clay Aiken!

If you’d lie for me, like you lovin me
If you’d die for me, like you cry for me
If you’d kill for me, like you comfort me
Girl I’m convinced, you’re my down ass bitch
Ja Rule

Ron Paul

According to the nutjob majority, Ron Paul was cheated out of every primary.  He also has a plan to cut spending - when he started shouting and shaking his fist, I stopped listening.  This guy makes Howard Dean seem well adjusted.

Come Back Writers!

Quit acting like a bunch of overpaid whiners already, put down those cafe lattes and go back to work!  I’m not going to wait another year for more TV.

That’s it, I’m going to watch old epsiodes of “Sanford and Son” and “Gimme a Break” until you return!

You are far and away, my most imaginary friend.
The Lemonheads

Brave New Direction!

I’ve decided to start a new blog that talks about how much I hate blogging.  No seriously, just something to put down random thoughts and strange notions…like a stream of consciousness without the conscience.